


apple cider, pumpkin spice

by amaranthskies



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Dinner, be prepared for nonsense, i don't even know what this is, i wanted thanksgiving and crack so. here you go, implied ace ruby, nora's thunder thighs make an appearance, ruby uses a lot of Unnecessary Capitalized References, thanksgiving with ruby and friends, yang and blake resolve their sexual tension and bets are made
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 19:59:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16562240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaranthskies/pseuds/amaranthskies
Summary: Team RWBY and JNPR all have Thanksgiving together and chaos ensues.





	apple cider, pumpkin spice

**Author's Note:**

> this is 101% crack

“Yang, what even  _ is  _ that?”

Normally, Ruby is all for eating strange things. But she makes it a point to stay clear of Yang’s Thanksgiving Special, which usually looks unappetizing to the point of wanting to hurl. This year it’s a bubbling mass that Yang somehow managed to turn bubblegum pink. Ruby loves her sister, she really does, but it doesn’t extend to eating Yang’s concoctions.

Yang winked at Ruby with the pleased and slightly smug expression of a cat who had just eaten your stash of chocolates and was about to watch you discover the empty wrappers. “Why don’t you try it and find out?”

Ruby pointedly moves her plate  _ away  _ from the dish, but Ren, one of Ruby and Yang’s friends, is already eating it with a quiet and dignified expression. “It isn’t so bad,” he says as an afterthought. “It has a touch of sage, hints of grapefruit and salmon, and a quite unique texture akin to watercress.”

Nora, Ren’s girlfriend, wrinkles her nose. “I’m not even  _ touching  _ that after you forced me to drink your weird green slime drink.”

“It’s a highly nutritious blend of vegetables and other uncommon nutrients that will benefit your body’s mechanisms,” Ren argued back.

“Is this what Thanksgiving at your family’s house is usually like?” Weiss, Ruby’s BFFAEATTD (Best Friend Forever And Ever And To The Death) asked in a slightly strangled voice, hands twitching like she wanted to either get up and throw Yang’s Thanksgiving Special out the nearest window, or get up and throw  _ herself  _ out the nearest window.

“Yep,” Ruby answered cheerfully, reaching across the table to grab the cider. “Last year we broke three windows and had to call the fire department.”

Weiss looked like she was about to faint. Ruby reconsidered Weiss’s title. Maybe the addition of “To The Death” to the acronym had made its appearance too soon.

Jaune is avoiding looking at the stew, instead choosing to focus on a platter of fish that’s across from him. “Uh, guys?” he asked in a small voice. “I think the fish is looking at me.” 

“It’s dead, Jaune,” Pyrrha gently says.

“I made sure to de-fang it before it was set on the table,” Yang says flippantly, grinning cheerfully. Unfortunately, the mention of the fish makes Jaune just freeze, after squeaking out, “Vampire fish?” 

Blake, who’s as quiet as the fish sitting on the table - Pyrrha has turned it so it’s accidentally facing  _ her  _ now, and she fidgets uncomfortably - speaks up. “Could you pass the cider?”

“Sure,” Yang says gently, and she reaches across the table to grab the jug of amber liquid. She passes it to Blake and their hands linger  _ too  _ long for it to be just casual, eyes catching for just a little  _ too  _ long, and everybody at the table exchanges long-suffering glances and muted eye rolls. Blake and Yang have been a hypothetical  _ thing  _ for  _ eons,  _ and Ruby thinks she may spontaneously combust from the romantic tension between the two best friends.

Weiss grabs Ruby’s arm. “We really need a plan for those two,” she whispers, jerking her head towards Blake and Yang, who are  _ still  _ looking at each other. Ren and Nora had started throwing grapes at each other - rather, Nora had started throwing grapes at Ren, who still managed to catch each in his mouth every time. 

“I don’t know anything about romance,” Ruby whispers, panicking - it’s really just  _ not  _ her forte, and is saved by one of Weiss’s long-winded-rants by the loud chiming of the doorbell.

The noise shocks Blake and Yang apart -  _ if it had gone on for any more seconds,  _ Ruby thinks,  _ they would’ve had a new highscore for Running Seconds Of Longing And Mutually Reciprocated “I Want To Date You But You’re Too Good For Me” Staring. _

Jaune and Pyrrha were already starting to exchange money in the background - Jaune looks disappointed, and Pyrrha was whispering  _ “seven seconds of staring, I won, you owe me five dollars”  _ \- and Jaune is firing back,  _ “if they blinked that should count for my five seconds”  _ \- and Ruby is jolted back to the fact that the doorbell  _ rang  _ and she needs to get it.

“I’ll get the door,” she said cheerfully and all but bolts for the exit. 

She yanks it open to find a  _ raven  _ on the doorstep.

The raven tilts its head and stares up at Ruby with beady eyes, and lets out a single  _ caw _ . It’s short and harsh and conveys a rather familiar sense of distrust, disappointment, and utter indifference.

“Hello to you, too,” Ruby mutters.

Yang comes pounding at the door and takes one look at the raven, who fluffs its feathers and drops something sparkly on the floorboards. It falls against the ground and the raven flies away, all but bolting for the skies with an air of  _ gotta get out of here fast. _

“Who was that?” Ruby asks, and she realizes she said  _ who  _ instead of  _ what,  _ like that raven could be a real person, and she laughed nervously. “I mean, not  _ who - _ ”

“Probably mom,” Yang said shortly, bending down and scooping up the trinket - a crimson and black bead the size of Ruby’s pinkie nail. “This raven comes every holiday and drops stuff off.”

“She didn’t seem to like me much.” Ruby wrinkled her nose, although her mind was buzzing.  _ Does that mean The Incident of ‘08 where a crow raided the Ironwood Liquor Store and made off with five bottles without getting caught had a correlation to Uncle Qrow looking especially smug and hiding multiple clunky objects under his jacket that day? _

“Raven’s probably angry you inherited the Hot Topic aesthetic instead of me,” Yang muttered, making her way inside. Ruby only waited a moment before shrugging and heading back inside. She’d had worse Thanksgivings.

Ruby enters the living room to see a scene of mass confusion and hysteria unfolding. Weiss had managed to sneak her phone into the room (despite Ruby having confiscated  _ seven  _ of those things) and was thumbing intently at it, shouting expletives every now and then. Nora somehow had gotten hold of a watermelon and was standing on the table, the fruit hoisted high above her head and laughing maniacally. 

Ren’s face could probably be the image found next to the entry for  _ “resignation”  _ in the dictionary, and Jaune was imploring Nora to get down while Pyrrha was silently edging towards the fire extinguisher. Blake somehow had ended up in a spot on the other side of the table where she originally was, a look plastered over her face that screamed  _ GOD IS DEAD AND SO AM I. _

“Oh,  _ no, _ ” Weiss spits in a fury, and Ruby makes a futile grab for her phone. “Whitley, don’t you  _ dare  _ start a flamewar at me over Twitter because it is  _ on,  _ you son of a -”

_ “Thunder thighs, commence!”  _ Nora called gleefully, and there was an anguished cry from Jaune. The look on Ren’s face intensified. Blake looked like she wanted to burst into manic laughter or hide in a corner and be absorbed by the floor, possibly both at once. Pyrrha had managed to pry the fire extinguisher off the wall.

“Guys,  _ no, _ ” Yang starts to say, and Ruby idly notices that Yang’s Thanksgiving Special had turned from bubblegum pink to a fascinating shade of violet from just exposure to air. “Blake, are you all right, Nora,  _ don’t  _ -”

Ruby grabbed Weiss’s phone and, in a final act of desperation, clicked  _ Report User  _ on Whitley’s profile picture and threw Weiss’s phone out the window, eliciting a  _ CRASH  _ and a scream from the next door neighbors.

Blake  _ really  _ looked like she wanted to die.

“One window down, two to go,” Yang cheered. She had nearly made her way to Blake’s side and,  _ cue another round of staring.  _ One of these days, Ruby was going to lock them both in a closet. If they weren’t there already.

_ “Did you just -”  _ Weiss began indignantly, voice rising in a piercing tone that was somehow drowned out by the earsplitting  _ CRACK  _ coming from Nora’s side of the table, the shriek of “YES!”, and pieces of fruit flying in every direction, landing in Ruby’s hair and hoodie. One pinned Weiss on her nose, about 35 pieces slammed into the wall behind Yang and Blake, who were  _ still  _ staring soulfully into each other’s eyes despite the chaos, and Ruby thinks  _ they’re really going to kiss this time _ , and Jaune somehow got blinded in his left eye. The only one that escaped unscathed was Pyrrha, who had artfully defended herself with the fire extinguisher. 

Ren shook bits of watermelon out of his hair. “That was… exceedingly messy.”

“New record!” Nora yelped excitedly, throwing herself into the chair next to him. “Next time, I’m going to try it with someone’s  _ head. _ ”

“Guys,” Jaune said mournfully, “I still can’t see.”

“How long do you want to bet that Blake and Yang will stick it out before confessing their love for each other?” Ruby hissed to Weiss. “Five dollars for 10 PM tonight, after the pie’s served.” 

Weiss crossed her arms and glared at Ruby from the curtain of her white hair. “I don’t partake in such childish bets,” she huffed. A moment passed before she grudgingly added, “Ten dollars for 9 PM.”

“Make it fifteen for the end of this hour,” Yang suddenly interjected, having appeared brandishing multiple napkins and a look that could’ve skewered that kid Junior from school that probably was at the head of the drug culture at Beacon Academy. Ruby was feeling pretty skewered too, as Yang was pretty good at turning up the glower on her face when she was ready to kick butt.

“Don’t kill me before the end of Thanksgiving,” Ruby squeaked.

Weiss coughed. “Are we not going to acknowledge that Yang  _ bet money  _ on her  _ own relationship _ ?”

“I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t bet on me and Blake in the first place,” Yang sniped. The Look appeared on her face, one Ruby had seen only twice before and had never had aimed at her before (and, in that moment, she never wanted to see it again.) It was a Look that was a deadly combination of reckless grin, dangerous eyes, and inevitably ended in  _ something  _ on fire. Ruby suddenly was very fearful for Blake’s future. “You guys had better be ready to be fifteen dollars poorer in ten minutes.”

Jaune had somehow managed to mop up most of the watermelon residue on his sweatshirt using the napkins Yang had handed to him. Everybody was in a state of disarray and he sat down in Blake’s chair, which had been abandoned, leaving him with the fish. Pyrrha was hovering nearby, fire extinguisher at the ready. Ren somehow was trying to coax Nora into eating a spoonful of Yang’s concoction, which was now a sickly orange. 

Ruby had the premonition that something big was going to happen. Yang was making her way over to Blake. Jaune was having a staring contest with the fish. Nora was poking at the tureen of Thanksgiving Special.

Blake turned as Yang approached her, almost like she could hear every single one of Yang’s footsteps and was tracking her movements around the room. “Hey,” she said with a soft smile, and Ruby witnessed firsthand the complete and utter effects of love come crashing down onto Yang’s face like a spaceship plowing its way through civilian buildings like collateral damage wasn’t a thing. It was terrifying and awe-striking and for a second Ruby could’ve sworn  _ this is it, she’s actually gonna kiss her  _ and she wasn’t even  _ angry  _ that she was about to lose thirty ramen packets worth of money on that stupid bet. 

The room went silent. Nora and Ren ceased their lighthearted bickering. Jaune froze like a deer in headlights. Weiss looked like she was about to witness something beautiful and awe-inspiring, like the time her older sister Winter slapped her father in the face and strode out of the house to start her own billion-dollar company. 

And then Yang tore her gaze away and asked, “Help me pass around the pie?”

There was a collective groan. Jaune discreetly handed Pyrrha two dollars. Ruby glanced at the clock. Six minutes left.

Blake almost looked disappointed, but followed Yang out the doors into the kitchen. They appeared a few minutes later, each of them holding a pie in their hands. For some reason, Blake’s had a burning candle on it. Ruby hoped they were pumpkin.

Weiss took a long, slow sip of her apple cider. “Two minutes,” she muttered to Ruby.

With one minute and twenty-nine seconds to spare, Blake slammed her pie down onto the table. Ruby jumped. “I can’t take this anymore,” she announced decisively.

“Take what?” Jaune asked nervously, to deaf ears.

Blake’s face looked like it could’ve been made out of steel and iron. It was one to match Yang’s, both in similarities and differences - it was dangerous, but in a  _ cold  _ way, like she was about to break the necks of every man who had wronged her without even batting an eyelash. She looked like she could’ve been carved out of ice, the semblance of a shadow form of herself. (Ruby suddenly got a weird sense of deja vu.)

Which was why Ruby was  _ very  _ surprised when Blake grabbed Yang’s face and yanked her in for a kiss. 

With four seconds left on the clock. 

Yang’s pie crashed to the floor and Ruby made a fruitless dive for it - she missed by about five feet and it splattered on the floor as Yang responded enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around Blake’s waist and pulling her in closer. Blake’s hands were tangled in Yang’s hair, curled around the nape of her neck, and even though Ruby never paid any thought to the notion of romance, she felt like she was sucker-punched in the gut with happiness for her sister and friend.

Of course, that meant she was sprawled on the floor with pumpkin pie on her hoodie, giving her a very attractive view of Yang’s socks as they were covered in mush, but the overall feeling of pride squashed her discomfort like a bug.

The effect it had on her friends was instantaneous. Weiss was cheering, Jaune beaming in earnest, Ren gave a polite round of applause, and Nora went absolutely  _ berserk _ , roundhouse kicking the plate of Thanksgiving Special out the second window, eliciting another scream from the neighbors. About five plates fell off the table, including Blake’s pie, which went unnoticed.

_ “Finally,”  _ Weiss yelled amongst the chaos, “Oh my god, I thought I was literally going to have to lock you guys in a  _ closet,  _ do you  _ know  _ how cliche that is?”

“Honestly,” Yang said dazedly, grinning stupidly at Blake after she pulled back briefly, “You should’ve done that.”

Blake scowled. “You wouldn’t have done anything unless I planted one on you in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner like a badly-written fanfiction written by a fourteen-year old on Tumblr, so shut up and just  _ kiss me,  _ you idiot.”

Yang shrugged but didn’t look too concerned about it, and immediately dove back in, nearly toppling the smaller girl with her enthusiasm.

Ruby was trying to remember if she had fifteen dollars stashed anywhere, and was wondering if Yang would be angry if she paid in an array of nickels and pennies, when she realized something.

Smoke was curling from the edge of the room, flames flickering from a mess of pie and melted candles that was squashed on the floor. Upon noticing this, Ruby did the only reasonable thing: she freaked.

Pyrrha, being the only sensible person in the room, snatched her fire extinguisher and leaped over the table, sending everything in a mess of white smoke and the smell of burnt pumpkin. There were a couple of screams - Ruby was pretty sure both of them came from Jaune. Blake and Yang were still too wrapped up in each other to notice anything.

“That’s  _ awesome, _ ” Nora yelled with delight, clapping her hands. “You go, Pyrrha!”

“Why did I even show up?” Weiss asked imploringly to Ruby.

Ruby patted Weiss’s arm. “You think this is bad? Wait until Christmas.”

Weiss turned decidedly more pale than her normal complexion. Blake and Yang finally broke apart in the background, as if they suddenly came back to Earth and realized that multiple alien invasions had happened while they made out in the corner. 

“Finally,” Ruby sniffed.

“What… happened?” Blake asked, her hair a mess and eyes decidedly more wild than before. Pyrrha was busy stomping on the ground, putting out the remains of the fire, and the wall was liberally stained with unknown chemicals and the smell of pumpkin permeated the air. 

Ren shrugged. “At least we didn’t have to call the fire department this time.”

“You all are paying for the windows,” Ruby said threateningly, shaking her fist at the group, although she was the shortest and probably the youngest of them all. “Or else I  _ will  _ find you and pour Yang’s Thanksgiving Special in your shoes.”

“At least we didn’t break three this time,” Yang said brightly, dropping into an unoccupied chair, pulling Blake down with her. They were not-so-subtly holding hands under the table. “And, speaking of my Thanksgiving Special - why’s it dark gray?”

“Just pass the cider, please,” Pyrrha mumbled, and Jaune obliged. Nora was resting her head on Ren’s shoulder, Blake and Yang were sharing secret smiles, romantic tension over  _ forever _ , Ruby was in debt, Jaune had somewhat calmed down and was even laughing with Pyrrha, and Weiss was still here, officially filling Ruby’s BFFAEATTD title.

_ Yeah,  _ Ruby thought happily,  _ Best Thanksgiving ever. _

**Author's Note:**

> happy thanksgiving you all!!


End file.
